Hope

Hope is considered a positive emotion, one that gives people courage and a positive outlook. Hope that whatever your circumstance things will be better tomorrow. There is a serious down side to hope considering it can be based in unrealistic belief or fantany. Hope where even though the evidence is strongly against the outcome you still hope that things will be different. You hope so much that you fool yourself into believing it might be true, just maybe just possibly true. A dangerous self deprecating and damaging emotion, that is what hope can be.

Hope led me to drop my shield and hope, and once again that horrible emotion let me down. Hope based in fantasy, even when reality said otherwise, and the damn thing cut me again. Open up and be positive, and hope what you know is not going to happen will happen. If you try this a little more, or something different, if you say this, and don’t say that and hope things will turn out, hope.

And now I still hope, I hope that tomorrow I won’t sob in my car on my way to work. I hope that tears will don’t spontaneously appear in my eyes, threatening to fall. I hope that complete strangers will no longer tell me that I look so sad. I can’t help but to hope, even though it has so betrayed me. And if I dewell on it, I might still hope that it really isn’t over, hope sucks.