Thursday in Chicago

I had the best visit in Chicago. I spent the holiday weekend with my very first BAW and his wife. We stayed up very late and slept in everyday. We drank way too much alcohol and experienced all the stuff the city had to offer. The train ended up being the focal point for all the truly bizarre experiences of the weekend.

Thursday we went to the Taste of Chicago and it was mildly entertaining. The crowds were insane. They were primarily composed of young people wearing radically inappropriate clothing. And a note to the not so fashion forward, if you squeeze your size 16 frame into size 6 outfit that belongs in a strip club do not go to a food festival and eat more! We wandered around the taste making fun of all the crazy people that crossed our path. I know it is mean but I am not known for being a nice person.

Eventually we made it to the water front and claimed our spot and proceeded to drink our fill in liquor. We brought extra, you know just in case the festival ran out. After the fireworks, which were the best in the nation, we made our way back through a million people to the train station. I have to say a crowd of a million people is something to behold and fortunately I had more alcohol in my veins than blood so I didn’t care that there was so many people.

In fact we played a real live version of Tetris meets pong while getting back to the station. Yes I was part of the really drunk string of people running through the crowd. I am sorry but it was a lot of fun and we made it to the train on time. Once on the train I promptly passed out only to be awoken 2 hours later by a young kid collapsing in our car. One of our friends went over to help and it soon became apparent that the young kid needed help bad. He had too much to drink and probably more and passed out; he also stopped breathing shortly before our stop. When he stopped breathing and started turning blue, one of our party started CPR and I dialed 911. Well to be fair I dialed 411 first, in my drunken panicked state, I stayed on the line with the 911 dispatch until they arrived at the train. I also pulled in the emergency stop handle, wow that was drama. I am not sure if the kid was okay, he couldn’t have been a day over 21.

That was the most dramatic/traumatizing train ride but the rest involved sex, vulgarity and public exposure.

How to make a woman feel special Part II

My “How to make a woman feel special” post has received a lot of attention over the years. It continues to receive a lot of attention and people have requested that I update the post to include more suggestions. The most important thing then and now in keeping a woman happy in a relationship is to make her feel like she is special. The more successful you are at making her feel special the happier she will be.

When I first wrote the list I was compiling a “to do” list for a guy that I wanted to win my heart but instead I discovered it was wonderful opportunity for all my friends to reflect on what great guys they have in their lives. It made everyone a little happier and more appreciative of their lives for a while. Now I don’t want to reflect on what the men in my life do to make me feel special as I am trying to let go of them. However I will once again enlist the help of my friends (and readers) in making another list of what makes you feel special. So does the guy in your life do to make you feel special?

I will post the results when I return from Chicago.

She is such a slut

I think I need medication. Somewhere in my crazy thought process I thought it would be a great idea to get a roommate. My logic seemed flawless; I have a lot of space, I am gone all the time, a built in carpool to work, the extra money would be great and a help around the house would be greatly appreciated. The first flaw in my logic was apparent when all his stuff arrived, a lot of stuff; more than the 500 sq feet that I allotted to him! My kitchen cupboards, refrigerator and freezer are stuffed. I hate having so much clutter around even if it is out of sight, and not everything is out of sight. My second flaw was apparent when I was getting dressed for work in the morning and walking around nude it no longer an option. My third flaw was apparent when my traitor dog has decided sleeping with my roommate is better than sleeping with me. She is such a slut!

Being a woman is a nightmare

Being a woman is a nightmare, there are times when my hormones are so out of control I am incapable of being rational. Of course being the incredible logic motivated creature that I am I have been tracking my hormonal swings and putting a notice into my brain that I am not allowed to make any potential life changing decisions while in the throes of the hormonal hurricane. However this month, no anger, no swings, no apathy, no wanting to divorce myself from everyone and everything, no wanting to runaway, no needing space, nope it is worse! I am needy!

Needy, pathetic, weak and I just want to be held. I want to lose myself in someone’s broad chest and strong arms. Of course I realize I am once again being irrational but I will not be able to stop myself from acting on it. I will call someone to come and hold me tonight and they will. I will also be affectionate, needy and vulnerable. I won’t feel the same in 48 hours; they still will. In fact they will feel like they are finally making some head way into my life, and I am sorry you are not.

Maybe today I can beat the hormonal monster that controls me for a day every month and spend the night alone.

Drive it before you buy it

The idea of abstinence until marriage never really impacted me. I knew it wasn’t for me because there is no way I could wait that long; I am just not a patient person. I can’t wait for things I want. I had also laughed at the comments like you don’t buy a car before the test drive but it was always a joke. My thinking has really changed in the past few years; you seriously don’t want to buy a car without a test drive. In fact you don’t even want to rent or borrow a car without a very successful test drive. On the flip side an amazing test drive can make you blind to fact that it isn’t really the car for you. I have been on both sides of this issue.

I had the best driving experience of my life and it took me almost a year to realize the car was stupid. The car was fundamentally stupid, incapable of original thought or conversation; not the car for me. Once I noticed the complete lack of substance (a year later) I could not stand the car for another moment even though it was the perfect ride.

Now I have the sweetest car on the planet, it does everything and more a woman could ever want except the driving is terrible. It is worse than terrible (where is the thesaurus); it is appalling, dreadful, horrendous, atrocious, and ghastly. You might be thinking you can teach someone to drive and solve this problem but trust me I have tried. There are just some things you can’t fix; either you don’t know how, you don’t have the energy/heart or they are plain just not fixable (I am living with all three). I hate to say good bye to this car with every accessory but I can’t live with the terrible driving performance. After each test drive the car loses some of it brilliance.

Moab is cool

I survived the river trip but just barely. It was not the class 5 rapids or the 55,000 cfs water flows that almost did me in but the unseasonable cold weather. A freak cold front blew into Moab, Utah just as our party arrived. It was in the forties and I almost died of exposure. The minute we left the river the weather was back to almost triple digits.

I can’t quite put my finger on what makes Moab so cool. I have heard about Moab my whole life, people rant and rave about the town. I have had random conversations with complete strangers while zip lining over the jungles of Central America and the topic about how wonderful Moab is occurs. Before I went to Moab, I just really didn’t get it. It is a really small town in the middle of the desert. The only things to do there are hike, bike, rock climb and white water raft. I don’t bike and the idea of hiking in triple digits repulses me; oh and I hate the desert. I think it is ugly (please don’t hate me). So when people talked about Moab as this Mecca town with abject reverence, I would internally role my eyes while I politely smiled. Secretly thinking I needed the medication the Moab lovers were on.

I get it now and I don’t get it. Moab is cool. It might be the people that descend there from May to September. They are the kind of adventurous, free, fun and interesting people that most of us aspire to be. It could be the variety of people that are in this town; hundreds a miles away from the nearest city. It might be the hot dry weather makes you light headed and unable to think clearly but the simple fact is Moab is cool. You feel like a bit of that it factor that is Moab rubs off on you while you are there, and you become slightly more interesting during your stay.

I don’t get it and I love Moab. I am now taking the Moab medication, you wouldn’t understand unless you have been there.

Damn Cinderella

Well I wasn’t eaten by a shark; in fact I did not even see a shark. Pretty much everyone else saw sharks but nope not me, I didn’t get to see the eel either, apparently it was right under me too. Hum I am wondering if the ocean might not be the place for me, since I am completely unaware of my surroundings.

I am now getting ready to go white water rafting. It is my annual trip, however I will not be intentionally swimming the rapids this year as the river is flowing at 60,000 cubic feet/second and I am not completely crazy, that number is big to me too.

My life has been pretty lack luster lately. I am busy. I have been traveling a ton. I am playing soccer, softball and still dancing this season. I can’t seem to break out of the “just for now guy” pattern. I really would like some alone time. I have been in a relationship since I was 15, no kidding since I was 15. On some level I must like being in a relationship(because I am always in one) but on another level I really don’t want one right now, or even ever. I try to break them off but then I feel so bad about hurting someone else and it is nice to have someone who takes care of the things I don’t want to do. It is times like now that running away sounds like a great idea; then I don’t have to deal with the break-up in person.

I think the men in my life sense my desire to be alone; they schedule things they know I can’t say no to months in advance, my favorite opera, concert, and ballet or vacation destination. Or perhaps they are just trying to be nice and not trying to get me to commit to anything long term. Maybe one day I will wake up and wish I had settled down with some “just for now guy” in my past but I am really waiting for the guy that sweeps me away. Damn Cinderella!!

So cute I had to share

Fear

I am not fearless; in fact I am afraid of a great many things. The primary one is the fear of dying; yes I am afraid of dying. I am also afraid of fear itself. I am afraid to let fear control my life. I know a great many people who don’t do things because of fear and anxiety. My BBF Marge has let fear so control her life that it limits the places she goes and the activities she participates in. I am more afraid of becoming one of those people, the ones that don’t ski the chutes, cliffs or even black diamond runs because of fear. I am afraid of fear limiting the person I am or the person I may become. I am very afraid of fear making me and my life boring.


This latest reflection is brought on because next week I am going diving with sharks and I am very afraid. I am already feeling the anxiety of the experience 8 days in advance. My heart rate is accelerated, my tummy is upset but there is no way I am not getting in the water. I will do it and love the rush afterwards. I am afraid and I am going. I cannot let fear stop me from living life to its fullest.