First Loves

My youngest sister Susan is getting married. Susan is my half-sister and was raised in my father’s home, and isn’t like my other sister Brittany (or me). Susan is fat and really annoying and kind of stupid. I know it sounds harsh but it is true, she is 25 and is marrying her first boyfriend. The planning of Susan’s wedding has got me thinking about my first love and whether or not it would be a good idea to marry your first love.

I went into my first love with no reservations, no inhibitions, no cautions, no shame, no pride and completely unprepared. He was beautiful, tall and skinny. All these years later I still like them tall and skinny. I remember his full name, after he rejected me I used his name as a swear word. I still use part of his name for passwords, I remember his birthday was in the fall and that is about it.

I couldn’t let go of him, I gave my entire heart to him and I have never even come close to doing that again. I have never loved someone so completely since and I know I never will. I actually regret that I am incapable of loving like that again. Fortunately I did eventually let go of him but it took me years, good thing I fell for him when I was only 15. I was over him sometime around 19. I am so glad he rejected me because I would have never been able to let go of him and if I had stayed with him I know I would not like the person I am now and I DO like the person I am now.

My concern for Susan is she will love her man completely and won't be able to let go and he won’t be good for her, just like my first love was not good for me.