Insights into my mother's way of thinking

I finally figured out why my mother wants me to have a child. I have not shared with her my warming to the idea of motherhood and as far as she knows I am never going to have one. Yesterday my mother tired to involve one of my friends in a plot to sabotage my birth control, and she was serious. She has been hounding me for years to become a mother regardless if I have found a suitable father. My mother claims that becoming a mother will make my life complete, like it is lacking something right now. Of course I have the wonderful role model in her on what not to do as a mother. I was thinking about this last night and this morning too tired with this argument to even get angry when it dawned on me, my mother wants me to become a mother and then fail at motherhood so she won’t feel so bad about being a terrible mother!

She is trying to set me up for failure to show me that being a good mother in my family is an impossible task. Or even better; I am a good mother and despite my best efforts my child turns out to be a complete failure. It could happen. She is a BAD mother and I turned out just fine.