I want to go away

There might be worse days in my life to come but Sunday holds the current record. I hurt the love of my life more deeply than I thought possible and it hurt me in return. It has left me reeling and a drift. I am drowning and I have no idea where to look for a lifeline. I don’t know what is good for me anymore, I am lost and everywhere I look is confusion. My life is a blizzard, where the sky, ground and everywhere I turn my head I see the same slate grey and I can’t feel my path. I don’t know where the obstacles are any more, nor do I know how to be happy.

I want to run and hide. I want to curl up in a little ball and hide under the covers and wait for this storm raging around me to subside. I want to go away. Away, I don’t know where it is and I don’t really care right now. I know away is not here, away from the turmoil, away from the drama, away from the uncertainty and away from the pain I have caused and the pain I am in. In away there is the hope that there might be someone to shelter me and protect me. I want to go away.