Craft Projects
Last night I spent hours on the phone comforting a distraught friend. Ms. Distraught has been dating a man for a few months. The relationship started out very slow, Ms. D comes from a very conservative background. The relationship is still young, in the fact that they have not had sex but do fool around on the couch a lot. However the drama started last night when to two of them were out he told her that she should change her hair. I was shocked. She has long, thick dark beautiful hair, and I have always been under the impression that men like long hair. Perhaps I am wrong. Through out the rest of the evening he kept fixing her appearance, straightening her sweater and her necklace, as if to say you’re a mess let me help you out. The final kicker was when he offered (unsolicited) to help her pick out her clothes, saying “I have a wonderful sense of style”. Which is true, I have met the man. Ms. D replied that she wasn’t a craft project that needed to be changed, and I fully agree with her. I also told her she should seriously reconsider dating a man that is so highly critical of her appearance so early in the relationship. I am under the impression that women are always thinking of ways to change the men in their lives and not the other way around. Is this guy way out in left field or do men look for a craft projects when looking for love?
posted by Spin_Doc1 at
9:23 AM
2 Comments:
I think it is perfectly fine to tell your partner how you would like them to look, which clothes you like most on them and such things. However, there are at least two things clearly wrong in the case you describe here. First of all, you should make it absolutely clear that those are just ideas, hardly even suggestions, and not at all requirements. Secondly, you should definitely not do this in a very early phase of a relationship. Helping each other improve is something that requires a lot of mutual trust and deep knowledge of each other. Before you achieve that stage, what you should rather do is look for a person that fits you as is. Which does not seem to be the case here.
You know what? Probably that guy would like to wear women's clothes but doesn't dare, so instead he is looking for a female body to wear his clothes on his behalf. :-)
By
Anonymous, at 11:52 AM
Unfortunately, it is easier said than done. I think she is too far gone with this guy to let go now.
By
Spin_Doc1, at 11:06 AM
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