Brittany
My younger sister Brittany and I were best friends for a vast majority of our lives. I am 5 years older than her and that is the perfect age difference. I was old enough to appreciate my role as mentor and older sibling. We were far enough apart in age that we were never interested in the same things at the same time, so the jealousy issues were nonexistent. I was always very proud of how beautiful and intelligent Brittany is (and she is gorgeous).
When she was 13 and I was 18, I started a sister’s night out with her. Once a week for an evening my time would be entirely hers. We would go to the movies, shopping, swimming, hiking or just for a drive. We became very close. By the time she was 16 we went everywhere together. We were very comfortable and affectionate with one another. Around this time I also met a boy. The boy was (secretly) jealous of Brittany, because she was number one in my life and I made no apologies for it. I never put the boy first, always Brittany. During this time Brittany grew up and eventually she met a boy.
However, some how I had missed that the Brittany of my memory was not the Brittany of today. I was dramatically made aware of this fact when the Nevada state police called me in the middle of the night requesting I come and pick Brittany up after her failed suicide attempt. I was shocked, not only did I not know what she was going through I did not know she needed so much help. I picked her up and dropped her off at the local hospital for an evaluation. I put my life on hold and did everything I could to help her.
Later I was to discover, she thought I had abandoned her when the boy came along and was very angry about it. Over a year ago she informed me that I had raised her incorrectly and now she can’t cope with real life because of my terrible parenting skills. I tried to tell her that I was not her mother but her older sister. She said “Yeah but you were all I had and you fcuked up.” She did not talk to me for a year after that conversation. We are talking again, but only superficially. I don’t who she is anymore, and I wish I could have my best friend back.
When she was 13 and I was 18, I started a sister’s night out with her. Once a week for an evening my time would be entirely hers. We would go to the movies, shopping, swimming, hiking or just for a drive. We became very close. By the time she was 16 we went everywhere together. We were very comfortable and affectionate with one another. Around this time I also met a boy. The boy was (secretly) jealous of Brittany, because she was number one in my life and I made no apologies for it. I never put the boy first, always Brittany. During this time Brittany grew up and eventually she met a boy.
However, some how I had missed that the Brittany of my memory was not the Brittany of today. I was dramatically made aware of this fact when the Nevada state police called me in the middle of the night requesting I come and pick Brittany up after her failed suicide attempt. I was shocked, not only did I not know what she was going through I did not know she needed so much help. I picked her up and dropped her off at the local hospital for an evaluation. I put my life on hold and did everything I could to help her.
Later I was to discover, she thought I had abandoned her when the boy came along and was very angry about it. Over a year ago she informed me that I had raised her incorrectly and now she can’t cope with real life because of my terrible parenting skills. I tried to tell her that I was not her mother but her older sister. She said “Yeah but you were all I had and you fcuked up.” She did not talk to me for a year after that conversation. We are talking again, but only superficially. I don’t who she is anymore, and I wish I could have my best friend back.
posted by Spin_Doc1 at
8:06 PM
4 Comments:
You aren't her parent. You're her sister. You love and value her and you always have. Even if she relied on you more sisters ordinarily do, or if other people failed to provide her with what she needed, that doesn't mean you're responsible for the problems she's been having lately.
I'm sorry you've lost the little sister and friend that you cherish. It sounds very painful for you. With your strong and loving history, I hope it's not forever.
By
Theresa, at 8:54 AM
Somebody else can always say it better than I can. I echo Theresa's sentiments. It sounds to me like you are an exemplary sister and always have been. I hope the closeness you once felt for one another returns.
By
i used to be me, at 1:02 PM
Sorry I haven't been around, my life has been crazy this last week.
I feel drained for you after reading this post. You were doing the best possible thing for your sister by being her sister. Not her parent. One day, she'll realize that.
I'm just sorry you have to suffer the fall out of it right now.
Hugs!
By
Michelle, at 1:53 PM
Theresa and Genius,
I hope it it not forever too.
Naive,
I felt better after writing that post, but I apologize for bringing you down.
By
Spin_Doc1, at 2:19 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home