Coward

I am reading Anna Karenina by Tolstoy. This the second time I have attempted to read this book. In reflection I can’t recall why I did not finish the book the first time I attempted to read it, vague memories of it being painfully boring come to mind. I don’t find the book boring at this stage, in fact I can’t wait until I am finished with my work day and will return to the book.

This morning I read briefly before coming into work and I am at the part of the book where after Anna’s confession of infidelity to her husband, Alexei Alexandrovich Karenin, decides how to respond to her betrayal. While reading Alexei’s thought process the current mentality of infidelity in society kept creeping into my mind. I am curious if in 1875 a woman’s infidelity or a man’s was considered intrinsically the fault of the spouse that was betrayed as it seems to be in 2006?

I have read numerous articles about infidelity and the main impression in a majority of them is that there is something wrong with the faithful spouse, or at the very least something fundamentally wrong with the marriage (and implying fault with the faultless party). I also received this impression from Tolstoy this morning. I am deeply offended by this concept. I think the cheating spouse carries all the blame and accountablity for the affair. I don’t like the idea that the blameless spouse is vicitmized twice, once by betrayal and another time by society.

I think the spouse that strayed is a coward. A coward, because they lack the courage to change the situation that they are in. Their marriage is not giving them what the want or need, and instead of having the courage to change their situation they have an affair. They are cowards and have all of the blame.