And then you came

And then you came to me. You wanted to take care of me, to love me, to rescue me. I needed to be rescued; I just didn’t know I had to rescue myself. You with your pain free life, your uncomplicated wants and desires, your simple mind and life. I let you love me and you did, completely. I let you take my pain; humiliation, suffering and I gave you all that I had. You took it with a smile; you took it because you got me every minute of the day in return. It was enough for you, it still is.

And time elapsed, and I learned to heal in the safety of your love. I learned my wants and desires in the comfort of your financial embrace. I found myself; all the while you patiently waited. You loved me through the whole process, now matter what hell I put through your way on my road to self-discovery.

And now I don’t need you to rescue me or take care of me. I have discovered how to rescue myself. I have given you so much pain; in the finding of myself I have almost destroyed you. I owe you so much, and yet I can’t stop hurting you. I hurt you because your love is suffocating me. Perhaps if I hurt you enough you will leave, but you are still here. My leaving you might destroy you, and I don’t know if I can do that to you. If I don’t leave you I might destroy me, and I don’t know if I can do that to me.