Shopping cart contents

I live in a really small town of 18,000 residents where almost everyone knows everyone else. Today I went to the grocery store where I knew the cashier through a mutual friend. In my cart was black sheets, a case of beer, 6 different valentines, steaks and condoms. The cashier gave me a knowing look and said “Wild plans?” I looked at my stuff and it dawned on me how bad it looked. It looked like a seduction scene from a really bad movie or one that might take place in a trailer. I did not even think what my small town neighbors might conclude from my shopping cart contents when I was throwing stuff in the cart. I stammered “It is not what it looks like”.

It is a lot more innocent than it looks; I have friends coming in from out of town, the sheets, steaks and beer are for them. I found out my 15 year old younger brother is having sex the condoms are for him. The valentines are for the various men in my life right now.