My First Hockey Game

Yesterday I played in my first ice hockey game. I have been really reluctant to play because I am still struggling to skate and I have not even started figuring out how to handle the puck. I am trying, seriously I am trying. I don’t know if I am giving it everything I have but I am giving it everything I am willing to. I practice twice a week and go to an open skate once a week. I am getting better but the progress is slow. I get very angry and frustrated with myself that my body does not do want my mind wants it to. I also feel guilt and frustration for letting down my coach and team members; there are so many things to think about and I have no hockey memory. I know it will come but I am really hard on myself and I don’t know how to stop. I wish I wasn’t so hard on myself but it is part of who I am.

I had 3 friends come to my game last night and 2 of the 3 friends were fun and encouraging. The 3rd friend (the Kid) spent the entire time after the game criticizing me. Now I know I suck, I know that I am not doing what the coach wants me too; I know I am not playing the game how it is meant to be played. I did not need to hear how I am completely failing on the ice right after my first game ever; two months after I stepped on the ice for the first time. It really hurt to be criticized like that and I even asked him to stop which he didn’t. I don’t know if I am going to be able to play another game any time soon.