Apathy

I am experiencing a weird emotion for me, apathy towards my love life. Complete apathy on whether anyone calls, comes over or even pays attention to me. Romantic apathy is a totally foreign emotion for me; it has left me wanting some heart ache. The mere fact that I am craving a heart ache puzzles me. I can only imagine that my complete lack of caring has brought on a desire to feel something extreme like pain. Perhaps it is because I have hurt for so long and spent so much time distancing myself emotionally from the Love of my Life that I can no longer care.

Tonight is my night to stay home, one of only two nights a week that I stay home. I have had requests for going out and they don’t appeal to me at all. It is mainly because this is my night home. I could invite company over but that doesn’t appeal to me either. I really lack any interest in seeing anyone right now.

Apathy:
1. lack of feeling or emotion
2. lack of interest or concern