We were out played

We lost. We gave it our best and we still lost. It was a combination of things but the main thing was they were a better team. Our QB was not on his game due to injuries, our receivers were not on their game either. They were the better team. They rocked. We did try our best and our best was not good enough last night. We are now in third place. Hopefully by the time the play offs come we will be a better team. I still think we are the second best team in the league.

Game 4

Tonight we play the #1 team in the league. I watched them play last Thursday and they have a lot of really good players and the most accurate quarterback in the league. However I still think we can win, our team is not as talented but we are younger and more athletic. Their quarter back is really over weight and can not scramble at all. In spite of this he can throw missiles in milliseconds to an open player. This game is probably going to be won with good defense. If we keep his receivers guarded and an effective rush we will shut them down. This should be the last tough game of our regular season and therefore our only chance to take back first place in regular season. I love this game, and I think I am going to play next season too.

I have been asked and I agreed to play floor hockey starting next month. I have never played floor hockey but then again I had never played football before this league and now I start and play the entire game, offense and defense. I don’t know that I will fall in love with hockey like I have fallen in love with football. And no I still have not actually watched a professional game but I am still thinking about it.

Horoscopes

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

Your self-destructive behavior resumes this week when you run out of anything else to destroy.

This is my horoscope for the week and I think it pretty much says it all. It is amazing how accurate these things can be. For example last week my horoscope claimed

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

You're the one who knows where all the bodies are buried, but that's only because trucks arrive at all hours and bury bodies in your yard, and the truck drivers always make you sign for them.

Now if that isn't the truth, I don't know what is anymore!

Tears of Power

I constantly hear through media sources and conversation that a woman crying totally disarms a man. Is crying the secret weapon in any woman’s arsenal when dealing with a man? If crying is a woman’s secret weapon than why do we hate to cry? If it was truly effective wouldn’t we all learn to turn on the tears whenever we needed them? For example guilt trips are an effective weapon against me and my mother has perfected them. I think all women hate to cry in front of another person. I so hate to cry in public that I am not sure of the effect my tears have on another person. In spite of this, I have cried in front of people, but if I got whatever I wanted when I cried I am sure I would have noticed my now. Do tears really disarm a man and empower a woman, or is this one of the greatest myths of all time?

Losing Sucks!

I am not so super excited about football anymore, well let me restate that I still love football but I am bummed that we lost our first game. I know I am in shock too; I was really surprised that we lost also. It started when our QB did not show up to the game. Our second string QB was really struggling and we were down 6-0 quickly with 3 turn-overs, so our star receiver decided to QB and just run the ball. That did not really work. The final minute of the game it was 12-13, our ball and the acting QB throws a Hail Mary pass that was intercepted and returned for a touch down. So the final score was 12-19. It sucks losing! We were ranked number one and now we will be tied for second place.

No Longer a Virgin

Last night Shannon cooked me dinner and was super sweet too. Now I feel bad for all the negative things I wrote about Shannon. In spite of this I feel it necessary to bring my readers up to date. Shannon and GB are “pretty serious” and have been dating for 6 months now. Nose guy and Shannon are “just friends”, but he seems to have worn out his welcome in the friendship area.

We were sitting on the couch laughing about the new show “Daisy does America”, and I was surprised that is sounded so much like the porn “Debbie does Dallas”. Shannon then asked me if I have ever watched porn, which I answered truthfully; “Yes I have watched porn” and she volunteered that she has watched it too. She proceeded to tell me that she was confused to why American women were so offended by porn. My radar was up and I turned to a little scouting adventure,

“Wow Shannon you seem so liberal and yet you are dating GB and he seems so old fashioned”

“Yes, he is a little stiff until you get to know him” Note this is an extreme understatement.

I replied, “He is more than a little stiff, I am not even sure he has had sex”

She quickly answered, “Oh he had sex before we did.”

I sat there stunned, I wanted to ask about the details, but she was super sweet to me last night, and I knew if I asked details I would post the information. Therefore I just smiled and turned the conversation to less personal stuff. I mean she made me dinner and I am a sucker for anyone who will cook for me. I still can’t get over the fact that GB has had sex, but if anyone can turn him to the dark side it would be Shannon.

Mission II

For weeks and weeks Shannon has been asking to get together and I have declined. I have a really hard time dealing with her personality. However I have reluctantly agreed to spend the evening with her and my main motivation is to find out what happened with Geek-boy and Nose hair guy. I am curious if she is still dating them both or which on finally won the competition, perhaps she dumped them both. Now I wished I had worn my hair in Pocahontas’ braids today, you know because I am going on a scouting mission tonight.

If Shannon is single it will make the Friday night happy hour very interesting. Shannon is not the type of woman to stay single for long. The last time she was single she had her radar set on Jean-Marc… I wonder who can convince to join me for this Friday night’s happy hour?

Applications

I never really understood how painful it is to look for another job! I have been lucky so far, applying only to the place I want to go and getting the position. I am desperate now and I have to get out of this job! I started actively looking for a job last week. However each position requires a slightly different application, so I decided to make a spreadsheet in order to keep it all straight in my mind. I have not finished the spreadsheet and I am sick of looking for a new job already!

Hey, I have an idea… I am going to go talk with my boss, which will give me plenty of motivation to complete my job search!

I love this game!

Oh my God! I love this game! We won!!!! The team we played this week was much better than the previous team, but we still won (21-12). The best news is I caught 3 passes, and ran one of them for a first down! BUT hold your breath boys and girls, I also chased down and pulled the flag three times on men that were trying to run down field. AND Guess what! One on my catches was in the end zone (I am not sure of the spelling here). That is right sports fans I caught a ball that actually counted for points!!! I never thought they would actually throw me an important ball, but they did and I caught it. I love this game! I might even watch a football game.

I have got to get out of here!

Tonight is our second football game. Apparently the competition is tough tonight; we are playing a team that won their first game 31 to 6. I am all about touchdown and injuries tonight. Perhaps as game time gets closer I will start worrying but right now I am looking forward to losing myself in the game.

I have finally decided I can not take it any longer here in the land of the freaks and geeks. I know I have said this before, however now I am serious. I spent the entire day today, updating my CV and getting letters of reference in order. I even applied for a job today. I plan on applying for at least 10 positions a week until I find another job. I am even willing to work at McDonalds as long as it is away from here!

Football

Tonight is my first football game and I am super excited! I have been to three practices and I have only been injured at two of them. This looks promising.

Tuesday’s night practice I was learning the defensive plays. I had a terrible argument with my boss that day and I am seriously thinking about quitting my job.... BUT when I arrived at practice I was in a very aggressive mood. Our co-captain had me rush the QB (who is huge). Did I mention that this is a co-ed team? I quickly noticed that I was having difficulty sacking the QB because I slowed my approach when I was near him, allowing him to easily scramble away. I had the clever idea to not slow down and touch him as I ran past at full speed. Sounds like a great idea, right? The very next play I went for him at full speed, at the last minute he fakes towards my direction (to avoid the other rusher) and we collide. My face impacted his shoulder (yes he is that much taller than me) and I went flying back on my ass. I gave myself whiplash by running into him, and he was not even fazed! I now have a bruise on my right cheek (face not ass).

And the kicker is he still threw the ball! In spite of this my efforts did not go unnoticed; the co-cap put me as a starting defensive player. He was a little concerned about me and my work woes but I told him not to worry about my aggression level because I am always upset with my boss. I think he is more concerned that if I quit my job, I would also quit football, but I love playing! And I hate my job!

For the Friend's of SVM

Here in the land of F and Gs it has been a particularly bad day. However I am dedicating this post to the friends of SVM who are interested in meeting the F & Gs. You ladies might change your mind after this post. A few weeks ago Sara noticed that when she arrived in the morning her office door was closed and locked. This was puzzling because Sara works later in the day and her office contains the group’s coffee maker. Freddie (her co-worker whose is incapable of looking her in the eyes) works early hours. The previous operating conditions have been; Freddie and his sunshine arrive in the morning they open her office and make coffee, leaving the office open for the rest of the day. Sara finding her office locked and dark inquired to why the sudden change. Freddie told her that when her office was open and light was on it looked like she was at work and he did not want her to get credit for being here when she is not. Keep in mind all my faithful readers that we are salaried employees and Sara works more than 60 hours a week!

But just wait the story gets better! Sara has been very upset about Freddie’s radically inappropriate leering at work. As a result I have been very mean and nasty to Freddie whenever I get the chance. It is my little way of paying him back for being a jackass to Sara. Today Sara and I had lunch in her office and we left her office door slightly ajar, because we were discussing what a horrible work day I have had. This is the first time ever we have had lunch in her office. Sara just sent me the following email

Guess what?  
The two freaks (Freddie and his sunshine) have decided to move the
coffee making apparatus to another office next to the printer
(supposedly a mutual office).
Has something to do that I kinda closed the door during lunch
so that they were UNABLE to knock and come in and make coffee?

I'd swap and work with anybody upstairs anytime.

Ladies this is the type of available men that are here. Both Freddie and his sunshine are available for dates. Do you still want to meet my co-workers?

Painfully Boring People

This weekend I went to see the 40 year old virgin with Courtney. To the general audience the movie was predictable but funny, to me the movie was a summary of my daily interactions here in the Land of the Freaks and Geeks. One of the opening scenes of the movie involved Andy (the 40 yrs virgin) recounting his weekend to his co-worker Cal. Cal is in the back of the painfully boring monologue ready to commit suicide, and all I can think is have the writers of 40 been spying on the people at the lab. I am not joking I have this exact conversation with Ned ever Monday morning! I work with the most painfully boring person on the planet; Andy’s sandwich story is interesting compared to the conversations I have to endure when talking with Ned.

Then to top things off I am pretty sure that there are 40 year old virgins running around the halls. I am equally positive that the men around here that are married have only had sex with their wives. I was just going to type ‘Not that there is anything wrong with that’, but in general I take that back; There is something disturbing about it. Am I closet slut, thinking that everyone should experience a few different sexual partners in their lifetimes?