A circle has too much symmetry

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

For the readers of GB and MB

Geek-boy and I just had coffee, and of course the conversation was steered towards Shannon (and not by me). Poor GB, Shannon (aka mega-bitch) returned for CA on Friday but told GB she was not returning until today. I know Shannon returned on Friday because I talked with her not once, but twice this weekend.

Swallow the stuff under the sink

It is 6:30 in the morning! And that is not the worst part of it; I was awake at 4:15 am. I do not think I have seen this side of 4:15 am in years. In fact the last time I came close to 4:15 am was in my early college years, and that was because I was partying like a rock star. Oh to party like a rock star again, it wasn’t like my body did not feel used and abused after drinking until the wee hours of the morning. It was I just didn’t have a sense of responsibility, I didn’t care if I was totally hung over for my under paid tutoring job. I sure in the hell didn’t care if I missed my classes. Now I am at work at 6:30 (in the freakin’ morning) drinking a cup of the world’s worst coffee. Note to self, quit complaining about how others make the coffee at work, because apparently I am the worst coffee marker on the planet! Hey Ellen where were the complaints after all those mornings we had coffee in the basement?

Not everything smells like roses

Composed Monday Morning, May 30th 9am


The differences between men and women are many! I am by no means qualified or even capable of listing them all. However the main similarity (according to me) is that we just don’t understand the opposite sex. Let me give two examples of this misunderstanding, note that these examples are not the only examples available, but ones that happened recently in my life. First, women don’t understand men. Brittany and I went to a book reading followed by a book signing given by a very famous author. We were both there in an effort to impress the current love interests in our lives. In fact Brittany had never read anything by this author and I had only read a few of his books. After the reading/lecture a huge line formed to get books autographed. Brittany and I had already noticed we were the hottest women in the place, so we being clever women, think that if we sit directly in front of the author and flirt with him we will get extra book signed, personalized autographs and such……

After hours of not being noticed we finally give up and join the line. When it was our turn the author was afraid of us, he thought we are very upset with him because of something he did to the main character in his book. Brittany and I had to confess that we had not read the book and had no idea what he was talking about. Obviously he wanted to know why we are so mad at him, to be staring at him for hours. Sheepishly we admit that this was our attempt at flirting with him! He thought we were crazed fans, upset about him killing off a main character in his last book! Geez! The whole time we were trying to flirt and he is thinking of getting a restraining order. See women just do not understand men. It is worth mentioning we got all the extra books signed and personalized autographs, and not because we were hot, but because we were scary!

Second, men just don’t understand women. Yesterday on a lunch date with Courtney we were both pleasantly lifted away to some light and sunshiny place by a man’s cologne. However this got us immediately thinking about how powerful of a reaction all women have to men’s colognes and how few men actual wear it. I work in a building where the total number of men is 240, and the total women number of is 18. In my entire building there is only one man on the first floor that wears cologne. Men just do not get it! To attract a woman it helps to wear cologne, and most of my co-workers are on the look out for available women. Note to women everywhere...but before you women rush to work here; remember this.... The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

When in a hole, stop digging

This weekend was an international weekend for me with players from all over Europe and North America, and inevitably (as always happens with an international crowd) the subject turns to stereotypes and negative differences between the groups. You know the standard conversation, “Us Americans are not perfect but at least we are better than blank, they all seem to have a problem with being polite.” Or “We blanks are not perfect but at least we do not have to medicate ourselves because we are not happy.” And this is the polite stuff.

I am not suggesting that my international crowd is prejudice either, I am prejudice, but I think I equally dislike most people regardless of where they are from. What I am suggesting is that it is much easier to recognize faults in other people than it is to recognize short comings in ourselves. I basically believe we are all intrinsically the same; we never want to be out and about in our daily lives and feel that extreme emptiness of being that sits in the pit of our stomachs. It happens to the best of us from time to time, and most of us hope it is just a normal part of being alive, but some little voice in our heads screams “This is not normal!” For a variety of reasons, either I am feeling the black hole of despair too often or for too long and even in some cases not enough. When ever we think we are not normal we look around and assess how everyone else is coping, and we think/say “Ah Ha, I may be fucked up but I am not as fucked up as they are.” When really we are all just trying to cope with extreme emptiness of being that sits in the pit of our stomachs, as best as we can.

For most people it is filling the pit with someone else. How we all attract that someone else is a little different and where the true differences between cultures was this weekend. However we are all looking for the same thing it is the just the approach that is different.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

The electron is not as simple as it looks.

In an attempt to keep my blog totally anonymous I decided to use famous people name’s instead of the real names of my friends and family. I was having a really hard time choosing an actor for one of my friends, let’s just call him Richard Gere, and so I asked him, “If you were to pick an actor that is most like you, who would you pick?” The response was wild and totally not how I pictured him, which of course got me thinking do all the people in my life see themselves differently than I do. So I sent off an email to all the people I am likely to write about in this blog asking them “If you were to pick an actress that is most like you, who would you pick?” I will post the responses as they come in but let me start with who I think they are first and few reasons why.

My new friend out here in the big, bad city, I think she is a Courtney Cox. She is funny smart and cute, just the kind of woman you would want to have as a friend.

Her response to the question: 
 
Susan Sarandon...especially in Thelma and Louise.
She smart, intelligent, takes no bull, big knockers...I love her.

Now Susan Sarandon she is not, she is much younger and better looking and still available, and I don’t see her hooking up with a younger man.

My sister, her personality is Brittany Murphy or Courtney Love. In fact, now that I think about it she looks like Brittany Murphy too, but to be fair my sister is more attractive than Brittany Murphy.

Her response to the question:

You want me to think? That's not very nice of you.

See I think I got it right with my sister.

My other girlfriend is Ellen DeGeneres, and not because she is gay either. It is because she has really bad (but very endearing) taste in shoes, and she loves to dance, but she is not an expressive dancer.

Her response to the question:

Ellen DeGeneres...no just kiddin', Holly Hunter, Juliette Binoche (I wish)

She is right I definitely see her as a Holly Hunter.

My very best girl friend from “back home”, I call her Marge Simpson. Many of you might not think this is a very flattering description, but she is a lot like Marge. The negative similarity between them is the hair, they both have very dated, very big and unchanging hairstyles. The positive similarity is the both put their families’ needs before their needs, and they are both largely unappreciated by their families, and of course they are both very naïve even after multiple children and many years spent on the planet.

Her response to the question:

Angelina Jolie

and

Angelina Jolie

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


Me, as defined by my friends

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Time is what is indicated by a clock

I am highly susceptible to peer pressure and outside influences. For example, I read once that one should fight solitude and schedule all your free time with stuff. I set out to do just that and scheduled Spanish classes, sailing classes and ballet classes, not to mention outings with friends and trips to the gym. The article claimed that once you had someone in your life to spend time with you would no longer need all these distractions. However I have found that I have scheduled the people I care about right out of my life. I no longer have time for them. Perhaps we should embrace our solitude so when someone happens to come along that we would like to spend time with; we actually have the time to spare.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Clever

I have just been introduced to Blogs, and I am struck by how clever and funny they are. In my naïve mind, I think that the people who write them must be clever and funny too. Then I think, well I am clever and funny, and I will write a Blog. Now I am faced with the reality that I am not that clever and or that funny. Thus I move on to the second reason I signed up for a Blog, to write down the ramblings of my mind to the anonymous reader.

I was given a journal once (from a very creepy man, but that is another Blog) who wrote the following on the jacket, ‘She who records her thoughts, begins to understand them’. Here is my attempt to understand my thoughts, and occasionally talk about things I would like to do and yet will never act on them.