A circle has too much symmetry

Monday, April 30, 2007

Oh the joys of puppy ownership!

Saturday night I went to a much needed party. I had a ball too; I ate, drank and was merry. Sunday morning Meadow was a complete angel; she let me sleep until 10am! Note she normally turns on the terror at 5:15 am. Now I should know by now that no good puppy moment goes unpunished. By 10:30 am she had found something truly foul to roll in, fecal matter covered her neck, tummy and ears! Oh and she ran up to me a happy as happy to say, “Mom, look where I have been and what interesting things I found!” Well Meadow discovered the hose on Sunday morning, and I had the sitters give her a bath too.

Friday, April 27, 2007

No television for me

Meadow was a sweet as sweet can be, she rode home from the sitters on the seat asleep. No climbing over my lab, no climbing on the steering wheel or trying to hang precariously out the window while driving down the street. I even picked up dinner and she sweetly lay on her bed while I ate my dinner. No jumping up on my legs trying to see what I was eating, no crazy rants with her rope/bone chew toy (note to dog owners do not buy one of these!). We went outside and did yard work and she followed me like the good little puppy I think she can be. We spent 90 minutes outside with no digging, no trying to escape the yard, no barking at the neighbor’s yappy dog and no attacking me while trying to pull weeds. You know the running jumping kind just to say she is happy to see me. Finally we came in the house and for the first time in a month I set down to watch television. Oh television, how I have missed you this past month!

Meadow sat on her bed content to let me have my moment with the television. Five minutes into relaxing in front of the tube I heard a queer noise. I couldn’t quite place it and I looked down at Meadow to find her throwing up more stuff than one 25 lb puppy should be able to contain. She threw up on her bed, she threw up on the floor and she threw up all over herself. I let out a little yelp and Meadow immediately took off, throw up and all across the floor. A mad dash followed and I grabbed her and into the bath tub she went, curiously she did not seem upset by the sudden expelling of her weight in the form of a massive mess on the floor. I was desperately trying to clean her with out getting myself too dirty, and she was not too fond of the bathtub. Then came the real challenge, did you know that dogs like to eat their on throw up? Crazy I know! So there I was cleaning up a gigantic mess and trying to not let Meadow make it bigger mess. The second I turned my back she was in it again! The game of cleaning her and the floor started, but finally I was able to get the situation under control. I think her dog bed will be washed out before it is worn out, and alas no television for me again.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Text Messages

I sent the following text messages to a few of my male friends yesterday.

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.

and


I had a wet dream about you last night…. I pissed myself laughing when you fell off a cliff!

The first text message did not illicit much of response, just a “tear” from the kid. The second text message received all sorts of attention! Overwhelming the response was something like you really had me going; I was all in to it until I read the cliff part. I made my new IB blush, though initially he did not know it was from me. He said he liked it until the cliff part too. One person was upset at me for sending such a mean message. I can’t take responsibility for the texts they were sent to me by my youngest sister.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Family

The flavor of my blog has changed over the years. I can no longer write about work because I actually like my job and would hate to be fired for the contents of my blog. At my job from hell I secretly wished my blog would be discovered and all those people would know what I really thought about them (I did like a few of my co-workers). It was trying to be so fake for so long! At my current workplace I am actually not nearly as nice as I was in the job from hell but now I am honest.

I also can no longer write about my personal life because my blog is not so anonymous anymore, which is my fault. I can not keep a secret, especially one of my own. So all I have left to write about is my daily comings and goings and my family. Now my family is always entertaining.

My parents are brother and sister, that by the way is the opening line to my memoirs, step-siblings but siblings nonetheless. I love the shock effect of that statement on people, so I tell everyone, I can’t change it so I might as well embrace that fact that my parents ARE brother and sister. In early 197X my grandparents were married and my father a then 15-year-old boy soon to be 16 moved into their new home. My mother was then 21 and soon to be 22. Yes my mother is 6 years and 6 days older than my father. Now all of this information is accurate and can be gleamed from marriage records and such. The next bit in the timeline is left to whom you believe my mother or my father. Now according to my father my mother immediately started a sexual relationship with my father. This relationship was based on coercion and amounted to statuary rape in my father’s eyes. My mother will tell the story that the sexual relationship was mutual and did not start until my father was 17. The overwhelming fact in this story is that I was born three months before my father turned 19. So yes he was a daddy at 18 and if you do the math (which I have done) my mother became pregnant when my father was still in high school. So if the relationship started when my father was 15 or 17 is yours to judge.

My parents married and then divorced after a few years. It took many years for my father to stop loving my mother but when he finally did it should surprise no one that my parents hate each other and have never tried to hide this fact from anyone including myself. Also both my parents are extremely disturbed, but I am not going to try to label them or diagnosis them or even make excuses for them I will just let their actions speak for them.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Grandma's words

Beg your pardon
Grant your grace
I hope a Kitty Cat spits in your face


I spent the last 4 days in Nevada, and it is not true about things staying in Nevada. Four days of drinking, eating and gambling has come home with me in the state of 5 extra pounds and in the inability to run more than 2 miles. I could run 4 miles before the Nevada trip.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I love being me

I golfed the best game in my career last night, 53 in 9 holes. Now I know that is not a great golf score, but it is fabulous for me. I might actually start liking this game. I had a par hole the last two times I went out. AND if I could putt which I can’t; I could have had a par round. I was on the green and had the potential to putt for par every hole. I have promised myself that when I am consistent with my irons and my driver I will practice putting. Did I mention I hate to practice putting? It is so boring and unsatisfying. Watch out LPGA here I come!

I had to call the club’s golf pro and tell him about my wonderful round last night. It is times like this that I love being me, I love that I am not self conscience at all. I love that it doesn’t even cross my mind until after the fact that perhaps I shouldn’t do it. I don’t think that I am annoying, or that I might look stupid. In fact I believe the pro would want to hear how well I did. This might be a fundamental flaw in my personality from the outside but from the inside I love being me at times like this.

Now I just wish I could be this way with my love life too.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Bothered

We live in different states. I had business in your city. I schedule a few extra days on my own dime at the end of the trip just to spend time with you. I called you couldn’t be troubled to pick me up; it was too far to travel with an unreliable car. I offered to take a taxi; no you really didn’t have time to see me. The next time I was in your city I extended another offer to visit, this time you could come to me, but I would still cover your expenses. Once again you couldn’t be troubled to see me. When you were in my city only our grandmother put us together. She died, and I have not seen you since. I have heard through the grapevine that you have been in my city and not called, not even bothered to see one another. I sent gifts, cards and called you and received nothing from you, you just couldn’t be bothered to make a connection with me. I visited your city a final time once again extending an invitation only to be refused before I finally understood that you did not want contact with me. I am a slow learner.

Now you call and ask for ten thousand dollars, with no plan or ability to pay it back and think I owe it to you because we are sisters. And I just can’t find the energy to be bothered.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The New Baby


I took this picture on Saturday, the last photo on my disposable camera. She is somewhere between 8-10 weeks in this photo. I bought another camera and took a few more pictures with it, but be warned my photos from my Rome vacation were also on this role of film. I really not a picture person.
This evening I will have had Meadow 2 weeks, and I think she is house broke, YEAH!

Monday, April 09, 2007

Help me remember

I am trying to remember one of my grandmother's favorite sayings, it goes something like this:

Grant me your pardon
Grant me your grace
I hope a Kitty Cat spits in your face

Does anyone know what is really is?

Thursday, April 05, 2007

In the Future

While reading The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullen I read the passage where Bif Brannon asks Jake Blout if he could go anywhere at any time where would it be? The question comes up all the time in general conversations, usually involving the getting to know you phase. My answer depends on the parameters of the question, like can I visit and then come back? If that is the case there are many places and times I would like to see for myself, but if I have to stay I want to go into the future. I don’t know what the future might hold but I am banking on the continuous improvement of humanity. I believe that ignorance, violence, discrimination and suffering will all decrease with time. I believe that knowledge and experience will increase with time, and the world will be a better place because of it. I look forward to the time where opportunities are equal and ignorance and fear of the unknown does not have influence in my daily life. I want to go into the future, based solely on the hope and the belief that tomorrow is going to be better than today. I am just a cheery little optimist, what can I say?

On the gossip side, I am going on a 4-day white water rafting trip with a few people from work this summer. The deadline for payment is soon approaching and during lunch yesterday I invited my new friends. The only one interested was my IB. Now comes the gossip part; I told him if he was going to attend to please not bring his girlfriend because I did not like her. It just came out! It is true, but I did not mean to say it out loud. When I had time to think about it I was horrified about the way I said it but not that I said it. I don’t go to any social events that include her, and I would hate to spend 4 days on a river with her, so at least the problem is addressed.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Am I too simple?

The baby is so cute (pictures soon to follow) when she is asleep. Otherwise the baby is a little terror. Terror, with a capital T, she keeps me jumping with the house training, picking up my shoes, moving the electrical cords out of reach, destroying her bed, and running to Petsmart for even more chew toys. Oh and at 5 am this morning she threw up on my bed.

I named her Meadow, and as I mentioned cute as cute when she is asleep. She is also a cuddle bug. I expect the house part of my current nightmare will be fixed in another week. I don’t know what part of my mind blocks out the puppy stage and how exhausting it is, but I sure could use a couple of nights of uninterrupted sleep; which brings me to the thought that has been occupying my mind in the quiet moments today, my five favorite things on the planet. Here they are in descending order;

Sleeping
Eating
Reading
Being in love
And Sex

Now I mentioned my list to Elle this morning and she was fascinated and by lunch time had asked everyone about their lists. My IB list was:

Creative Thinking
Hunting/pursuing women
Pushing the edge between safety and adrenaline
Pursuing beautiful sunsets

Everyone’s list was like this (intellectual), comparatively my list is primal. I am mildly embarrassed about my list, mainly because it is accurate. My desires are so simple does this mean I am simple? And I don’t know if that is a bad thing, and I am concerned that it is a bad thing.