Week Two

Weekly update on diet and exercise plan; morning weigh in 165 lbs which is exactly how much I weighed last week. It is really depressing to not even have lost a pound. I did really well at the beginning of the week but failed miserably over the long weekend. In the spirit of full disclosure (again) I am going to list the days that were a little lacking.

Thursday; partial exercise
Friday; 2 apple caramel crisp (homemade) bars and a brownie
Saturday; brownie and a Oreo fudge milkshake
Sunday; complete failure, brownie and a entire bag of Doritos (at a Barbeque)
Monday; brownie and two pieces of chocolate

My weekend exercise was excellent, 5 miles on Sunday and another 4 on Monday. Yesterday I was so hungry, that I had a steak for a snack. That might explain the lack of weight loss this week. I was also very hungry on Sunday too. I made brownies Friday night and hence the brownies showing up every day.

Sunday I attended a barbeque and all the women there were dieting in one form or another. One wouldn’t eat her steak because of the fat and everyone was staying away from the treats. Not one of the guys worried about it and only one guy there had a great body. In fact the men needed to stay away from the “bad” food more than the women. Why don’t men care about their appearance as much as women?

I have heard all the reports saying that men are not judge by their bodies as much as women but I don’t find a man desirable if he has a terrible body. I can’t even imagine dating a fat man. I think I am more critical of a man’s body than I am of mine (seriously it is easier for them so they have no excuse). Perhaps most men just don’t care if women are judging them on their appearance.

Seduction Style

I "stole" this from the unacknowledge Genius.

Window to the Soul

Yesterday I had an eye appointment and I was very concerned that my eyesight had deteriorated to the point that I needed glasses. I think glasses are for geeks. Now I know people who wear glasses who aren’t geeks, and actually look good in glasses. Even though I am decades removed from the playground I can’t leave the playground mentality behind. If I put glasses (other than sunglasses) on my face then I am a nerd. Now I know I used to be the queen of the geeks, the title no longer applies now that I have lost my court, but I am vane. I am really vane about my eyes, they are one of my best features and they are spectacular. I dread the day I have to cover them up with glasses.

Thankfully I don’t need glasses I have 20/20 vision, which is not the 20/10 I used to have but still too good for corrective lenses. I also have something like focal fatigue from staring at this stupid computer screen for countless hours. The only thing I need to change is getting up from the computer more often.

Update on the family front my youngest sister, Susanne, is getting married. Or at least that is the current plan, I am mildly concerned. This is her first boyfriend and they have only been together about a month. My youngest sister was raised in my father’s house and is not like the siblings I was raised with. Susanne struggles with self-esteem issues, weight problems and general social interactions. I am happy that she is happy but I am also concerned that her first love will end badly (like most do). Though there is nothing I can do to protect her and she might learn something from the experience.

Monday Update

Weekly update on diet and exercise plan; morning weigh in 165 lbs I did not weight myself last Monday so I can’t say if I lost weight or not. Overall I did really well but in the spirit of full disclosure I am going to list the days that were a little lacking.

Monday; one chocolate chip cookie
Tuesday; piece of chocolate cake
Friday; partial exercise
Saturday; complete failure, Wendy’s for lunch and dessert with dinner
Sunday; partial exercise

This morning exercise was really good, 3.1 miles. I want to increase the amount of miles I run each week so next week my goal is 3.5 miles. Increasing a half mile a week is a slow increase and won’t tax me too much. I also won’t burn out. I have a problem with pushing myself and then burning out. I have also really tried to increase my daily activity level, cleaning the house, yard work and walking instead of driving to various meetings at work.

Smooth Metallic Rods

Diet and Exercise update; I exercised yesterday after work but I could not muster the motivation to exercise this morning. However the day is not over yet. I also maintained my diet even though I really needed some ice cream yesterday before my friends cheered me up. This is cut and pasted from an email exchange yesterday with my new friends at work.

From: Spin Doc
Sent: Thursday, May 17, 2007 8:31 AM
To: Funny Girl and ElleSubject: RE: train ride

Ladies,

The train ride is Friday, Saturday return Sunday to XXX and back to XXX. We will leave Friday (early morning) and return Sunday around noon. My mother is on this route for the next 6 months. We should start planning on dates to take the trip; the entire month of June is out for me.

Spin Doc

From: Funny Girl
Sent: Thursday, May 17, 2007 12:46 PM
To: Spin Doc and ElleSubject: RE: train ride

Huh??
Can I get a little more info please??
Thanks!


From: Elle
Sent: Thursday, May 17, 2007 12:48 PM
To: Funny Girl and Spin Doc Subject:
RE: train ride

We're taking a TRAIN RIDE on Amtrak, in which Spin Doc's mother will be the LEAD TRAIN ENGINEER (how cool is that?)

I have a fetish for trains...big time.

Let Funny Guy keep the kids for a weekend for you to party with the girls... :-D

From: Funny Girl
Sent: Thursday, May 17, 2007 12:54 PM
To: Spin Doc and Elle Subject:
RE: train ride

So you have a fetish for large, smooth, metallic rods that surge forward while rhythmically releasing hot moisture??

From: Elle
Sent: Thursday, May 17, 2007 1:22 PM
To: Spin Doc and Funny GirlSubject:
RE: train ride

Right and you don't... ;-)

Day Four

I know I have said this before but I really want to reshape my body and lose 20 pounds and so I am going to track my progress on this blog. The 20 lbs is not as important as the reshaping but I know if I lost the 20 lbs the reshaping would take care of itself. Okay time for honesty here, I am a size 10. A size 10 where everything in a size 10 fits, it doesn’t matter the designer. I can fit into DKNY size 8 pants but that is because they are way oversized, that is true of Ralph Lauren too. I have size 10 pants that are a little tight around the waist too. I don’t want to shock all my readers but I weigh a lot! I am tall but not that tall; I weigh 165 lbs. I get a lot of feed back from my friends that I have serious body issues but they do not know how much I weigh. They do not see me naked and have no idea what flaws I hide with clothing and they are probably just being nice. Also the people who usually tell me that I have body image issues could lose a pound or two in my opinion.

The main motivation for the whole weight loss thing is the river rafting trip less than 4 weeks away and the Hawaii trip 2 weeks after that. I won’t have as many clothes to hide my flaws on the river and the beach. The plan is to eat sensibly and exercise. I have the worst time dieting; seriously I have never successfully dieted. The longest time I have adhered to a diet is 11 days. I am on day 4 of my current diet which consists of no unhealthy snacks, like chips, candy, cakes and such and wow it is hard. No fast food, which is hard too. I am also on day 4 of my exercise program which is running Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday, core work Tuesday and Thursday and resting on Saturday. So far the only day I have missed is today but the day is not over yet.

I often wonder how people eat healthy and I also don’t understand not eating. I have heard anorexia explained as a person ability to control what they eat when they can’t control anything else. However I have never been able to control anything, including what I eat and I have no idea how to get that kind of will power. I think it must be something you are born with; don’t misunderstand me I don’t want to be anorexic but a little control would be nice.

Airports Stinks

I don’t have shocking stories to relate from my weekend with Ellen, which is a little surprising. Honestly I was still recovering from the visit last year and I was too afraid to drink that much again. I mean a hang over for 2 days is enough to scare anyone. I did introduce Ellen to pedicures and batting cages.

Did I mention that I hate to fly? People who work in the air transportation industry in general are mean! I can imagine that working in airports is a terrible job and it is difficult not to be a complete jerk to everyone. However I don’t think a few bad travelers is adequate justification to be mean to everyone, or more specifically to me! I have yet to have a positive experience in an airport, the food is horrible, the security ridiculous, the planes too cramped, small and dirty, oh and the babies! I am all for drugging babies on the plane.

Yesterday airport security confiscated my Palmer’s Coconut butter, I tried to explain that it was a solid and did not qualify as a liquid or gel but that just pissed the airport security person off. She also said my mascara was not allowed, again I argued (I am slow learner) that it could not pour. There has to be a better way to travel but I have not figured it out yet.

Visiting Ellen

Tomorrow I am off to visit Ellen. I am torn about the trip because I am so crazy swamped at work and

WAIT a minute, as I typed that I realized that was complete BS. I am crazy busy at work but the place is not going to fall apart in my absence, and even if it did there is nothing I can do about it. I am not so important that my company will collapse without me, and I NEED the break. My work will be here for me when I return.

The last time I went to visit Ellen, I ended up with the worst hang over, it lasted 2 full days. I had my cell phone stolen (my story and I am sticking to it). I also had a blister on my heel, and I almost missed my flight there because I was drinking in the bar and missed the flight announcement. As you can tell I am really looking forward to seeing her again!

Really Bad Timing

I have been crazy busy at work. I have also been crazy busy at home too and as a result I have become the kind of boss that I never wanted to be. I have been in this position for just a year now and perhaps the stress is starting to get to me. Last week my group had to move office locations for a remodeling project, I was super busy already working 40 hours in three days when the move arrived. After a series of meetings I returned to my office and noticed my new office was filled with chairs, chairs on the desk, chairs on the floor, and chairs upon chairs. Now to be fair I had been covering a major corporate emergency last week and was operating on caffeine and adrenaline all week and it was Friday. I ignored the chairs, but I really didn’t have time to deal with them. I continued to work at my old desk and in the back of my mind rearranged my weekend plans to come in and clear the chairs out of my new office. I should have stuck with that plan. After a few hours of ignoring the chairs one of the guys approached me and said “Do you need a chair?” I replied “No, do you need more work?” The next time I walked past my new office all the chairs were gone.

I felt (feel) bad! This was the first practical joke they played on me and I am pretty sure it will be the last. I never wanted to be the type of boss that you could not laugh and joke with but it was really bad timing on their part.

Insights into my mother's way of thinking

I finally figured out why my mother wants me to have a child. I have not shared with her my warming to the idea of motherhood and as far as she knows I am never going to have one. Yesterday my mother tired to involve one of my friends in a plot to sabotage my birth control, and she was serious. She has been hounding me for years to become a mother regardless if I have found a suitable father. My mother claims that becoming a mother will make my life complete, like it is lacking something right now. Of course I have the wonderful role model in her on what not to do as a mother. I was thinking about this last night and this morning too tired with this argument to even get angry when it dawned on me, my mother wants me to become a mother and then fail at motherhood so she won’t feel so bad about being a terrible mother!

She is trying to set me up for failure to show me that being a good mother in my family is an impossible task. Or even better; I am a good mother and despite my best efforts my child turns out to be a complete failure. It could happen. She is a BAD mother and I turned out just fine.