One Dollar per Square

I am on the fast track to hell, I know I have said that before but I find myself doing things that are accelerating my decline into the depths of hell even quicker. Let me paint a picture for you guys.

I work in environment totally surrounded by men. There are no women in my immediate area with the exception of my administrative assistant. Granted I am not complaining and even though there are no women in my immediate area there are a lot of women in key management positions all over this place. But I digress, the men around here are varied and entertaining, I will name them accordingly as becomes appropriate. One of the men I work with is a Casanova wannna be. Casanova is constantly talking to the other men about his trials and tribulations in the dating world. For the record Casanova is an attractive man, but not someone you would want to date. Casanova does not treat the women he dates with any respect (he does treat me with respect) but I would never consider a man that I know is disrespectful to women behind their backs as dating material for me.

This is all leading up to me being on the fast track; recently one of my male co-workers has been supplying the rest of us with atomic fireballs (a very hot jaw breaker). I love atomic fireballs and have been consuming them at a rate much higher than the rest of the people around here. Casanova noticed this and made a comment about it. I told him that he should go to Costco/Sam’s Club and get me a huge supply. Now this is where the evilness comes out.

Right after the Sam’s Club comment I went back to my new click of friends and proposed that we put up a betting board to see how long it takes Casanova to actually buy me the fire balls. Initially it was all fun and giggles, but now on the white board in our office we have a huge grid depicting names and dates the cost of entry is $1 per square. In all modesty I picked the square that he actually would not get me the candy. However there was a huge debate over who actually got day one, which is next Wednesday, because the company is giving everyone off until then. We finally decided that day one would cost double.

Before you speculate, Casanova has been really nice to me. He comes over to my cubicle to talk every day; today he came over to show me his new shirt. He also showed me his new Kenneth Cole sunglasses and his shoes he bought in China. Yeah he is trying to get me to notice him but do you really think he will go to Sam’s Club and buy me a huge supply of atomic fireballs? If so it is a $1 per square….

Unconditional Love

The first time I loved unconditionally.

I was raised in a very clean house; in fact some would say an immaculately clean home. My mother was insane when it came to keeping the house clean, if she returned from work in the middle of the night and the kitchen was dirty she would drag me out of bed to clean the kitchen. My mother would pull me out of school in the middle of the day if I did not make my bed only to drag me home to make my bed and then return me to school. My mother’s schedule was sporadic and it took me until about age 12 before I would call the dispatcher daily to see when she was scheduled to arrive. As soon as I heard from the dispatcher that she had arrived at the terminal there was a mad dash to have the house perfectly clean for her.

My mother’s obsession with having the house clean meant that I was raised in a pet free environment. Pets were too dirty in my mother’s opinion to live in the house. As children when we attempted to bring home pets my mother would promptly take them to the animal shelter. I am my mother’s daughter in many things, including being a clean freak (however I hire house cleaners to achieve this). I also inherited my mother’s belief that animals were dirty and should never be in the house. Therefore as an adult pets were not allowed in my home, but after 3 years of begging and pleading I relented to the man in my life that he could have a dog.

I put strict requirements on the dog’s role in our house. The dog was to be an “outside” dog. When she was inside she was only allowed on her dog bed and was not to wonder anywhere else in the home. This was to eliminate the amount of dog hair that would be in the home. Willow (the dog) was born on November 1st, and I started reading all the dog books that I could. I started taking her for mini trips when she was about 4 weeks old, to get her used to me. I refused to notice how super cute she was, she was after all just a dog.

I brought her home Christmas day, a present for the man and it was too cold outside for her. So, I had the house all ready for her, complete with her dog bed. I set her down on her enormous bed and the first thing she did was wander off the bed. I picked her up by the scruff of the neck (just like the books instructed) and she let out the mostly heart piercing cry. I melted!! From that day on she ruled my life. I loved her completely and totally. I rearranged my entire life for her. I found her a dog sitter so she never had to spend a moment alone. I put her on my bed and snuggled her to sleep every night. In my mind she is the most beautiful, perfect dog on the planet. She does nothing wrong, I love her completely and unconditionally. I don’t even care that she leaves her hair everywhere.

I am ready to love unconditionally again, I am ready for another dog.

Playing Games

I am not playing hard to get; I am trying to protect myself. I am not playing at being unavailable; I am trying to move on. I am playing a game but not with you. I challenge myself every day to see if I can beat my record from the time before. I record my times with exacting detail. Some day I will be able to go long enough and strong enough and I won’t have to record my progress. Yes, I am playing a game but not with you.

Emptiness

Today I am going to participate in The Scheherazade Project.

There are places I wish for emptiness that are completely filled. In these places reside my memories, and in place of my memories I wish for emptiness. This is a place in me where I wished emptiness resided.

One of my first memories of my father:

Red flashing lights through the curtains, I am not sure what they are a first but at some time I realize they are police lights, maybe my mother tells me. Screaming and yelling, I am in my bedroom with my mother and there is a man with a gun on the other side of the door. There is more screaming and yelling it comes from my mother and the man on the other side of the door, but there is even more yelling. I don’t know who else is making all the noise perhaps I am, but I don’t remember crying. The door is shoved and my mother lunges against it and it closes. She moves a white dresser in front of the door, and the door bangs open again though it only opens 6 inches at most. My mother slams the door shut again. The door opens and my mother closes repeatedly until the dresser in secure. A man is on the other side, and he really wants to get in that room. He has a gun. I know I saw the gun.

“Hurry, hide in the closet” My mother says, and she puts me in the closet and throws all manner of clothing and blankets on me. I am hiding in the closet under a great pile of clothes and that is all I remember.

Years later my father is telling me of a time he pulled a gun on a cop, and I said, “Yeah, I remember.” He is shocked and I tell him a little of what I remember and he replies in horror “You remembered that?” Though he did not verify if that was the time he pulled a gun on a cop nor did he give me any more details to fill in. I did not ask him if that was the time, I did not ask my parents anything. They just dropped random bombshells of information in my early childhood that I pieced together over the years.

Your 4 paragraphs

I stumbled across you and your words struck a chord in my soul. Daily I looked for you insight, wondering were next in my being you would strike. Continually you surprised me and inspired me. I discovered how to articulate the words in me through your example. Your quick wit and clever responses had intrigued me. Your pain and bitterness incited compassion and understanding in me. Your life experiences were numerous and I admired you. You had swept off my feet before we ever met face to face.

You wrote beauty poetry and I claimed it for my own. I dreamed I was the object of your desire. Then you contacted me, who was already partly in love with the thought of you. I knew you, the clever, bitter, charming, funny you. I was like a schoolgirl, giddy with the thought of meeting you. I gushed to all my friends about this most amazing man that I was about to meet. I shared your poetry and prose already claiming you for my own.

The time approached and I waited and you lingered. I didn’t understand the road you traveled. I still don’t. I don’t know the path you journeyed and what obstacles you had in your road. I who waits for no man, waited for you.

And then, you came to me, and you were charming, funny and intelligent. You were all that I thought you would be and more. And what were you expecting? Was I the object of your desire, as I wanted to be? Was I all that you thought I would be? Who did you think I would be? Was it all a dream, a waste of time? Was it an affair with the idea and not the reality? I don’t know, perhaps you can tell me.

Friday's Snap Shot

Everyone around here works 4 tens, with the exception of me. I could work 4 tens if I wanted to, but I feel like there is something wrong with taking a three day weekend every week. This 4 tens mentality means there is absolutely no one around on Fridays. On the surface this sounds like a great time to be at work; it is not. There is no one here! I am working numerous projects with dozens of different people and not a single one of them is here today.

Here is a snap shot of my workday today.

1. Start working on project x (that I neglected due the emergency early in the week). Realize the engineer has not sent me the things he promised so I can finish project x today. Email engineer x requesting necessary material, and hear nothing back.
2. Move to project y, which I specifically told this team I would be working on today. Need a model number to finish this project. Call and email the engineer no response yet.
3. Move to project z, a time constrained project, not near completion. Work for a few hours on project z, periodically sending emails to engineers requesting various materials, no responses. Finish all I can do on project z without receiving necessary information.
   

I am almost afraid to start another project given what a waste of time today has been. I try to manage the rest of my week such that I can work all day Friday without needing information from other people, but this week was so crazy around here that I did not manage to do that today.

I want

I don’t want to feel lonely
I want someone to fill the black hole in my soul
I don’t want to be sad
I want someone to make me happy
I don’t want to be accountable for my choices
I want to be rescued
I don’t want to responsible for my own happiness
I want a night in shining amour

Today I am an Idiot

Yesterday near the end of the day I was given a huge project and high profile too. I felt flattered and up to the task. I felt flattered because after 6 short weeks I am getting the challenging and exciting projects instead of people who have been here much longer than I.

I have spent all of today finishing the project, and I have to say I have done a spectacular job until two minutes ago. The project is finished (in record time too) and ready to go out to all the VPs. I wrote the email briefly introducing the project and results; the entire who’s who of the plant was on the receiving end. Immediately after I hit the send button I realized that I did not actually attach the project to the email.

Yup I have had my extreme idiot moment of the day. I quickly started composing another email, but before I even started typing I had three emails complaining about the lack of the attachment.

My second email was identical to the first but I added a few choice comments in Spin Doc style, like:
Hello Everyone (again),
And
I have attached the draft (I promise I have this time)

Joy, I definitely win the idiot award today.

My Nose is Happier Too!

I just received the following email from Pixie (my former administrative assistant).

Tell me, why does Hop-Hop wear the same clothes day after day? LOL
Doesn't he know it's gross??

This is a common occurrence among scientists, in fact basic hygiene is absent more often than not with scientists. Even though I am way too busy to blog today, I just wanted to note that I am so glad that I don’t work with the freaks and geeks anymore. My nose is happier too!

100 Things About Me

Sometime this weekend I received my 10,000th visitor to my blog and in honor of this occasion I complied a list of 100 things about me, enjoy!

1. I was married twice by the time I turned 22.
2. I can’t be alone.
3. I lost my virginity at 15.
4. I still feel like a slut when I tell people that.
5. I feel like I am broken inside, at times.
6. But, I hate it when people try to fix me.
7. I have very limited contact with my family.
8. I love to dance.
9. I love to read.
10. I spend all my free time reading if I have a good book.
11. I read at work if I have a good book.
12. I love to drive fast.
13. I drive a Ford Thunderbird.
14. I have a PhD in physics.
15. I have never cheated on any of my exams.
16. I helped my sister on her exams.
17. I am really good at mathematics.
18. I like my job.
19. I don’t like people to tell me what to do.
20. I hate my previous boss.
21. I had lunch with him every Friday.
22. He was painfully boring.
23. I have a very imbalanced self-esteem.
24. I am very sensitive.
25. I could eat pizza every day.
26. I don’t let myself eat pizza very often.
27. I run 5 miles non-stop, once a week.
28. I hate to exercise.
29. I exercise three times a week.
30. I am afraid of being fat.
31. My father is obese.
32. My father is eating himself to death.
33. My father is very lazy.
34. My parents divorced before I was a year old.
35. My parents are step-siblings.
36. My mother is still in love with my step-father.
37. My grandfather was the best man I have ever known.
38. My grandfather loved me unconditionally.
39. He has been the only person in my life to love me so.
40. He was very proud of me.
41. I miss him very much.
42. I was partially raised by my grandparents.
43. I have three younger sisters.
44. My sisters are all half-sisters.
45. I only like my middle sister.
46. She used to cut herself with razor blades.
47. I have two brothers.
48. I tell people I have three brothers, but the third brother is a step-brother.
49. My older brother is in prison.
50. My youngest brother is actually my nephew.
51. I have a black lab.
52. I named her after a character from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the TV series.
53. I had a lab named Frodo who died.
54. He died a horrible death.
55. I still feel guilty about not having the vet put him out of his misery and instead try to say him.
56. I still have nightmares about his death.
57. Frodo’s death broke my heart.
58. I donate money to Best Friends Animal Sanctuary.
59. I can’t watch movies or television shows that show brutality to animals.
60. I can’t stand a dirty house.
61. If my house is dirty I feel like my life is chaos.
62. I have a house cleaner.
63. I won’t eat at my father’s house because it is so dirty.
64. I am afraid of food born illnesses.
65. If I think food might be spoiled I won’t eat it.
66. I throw milk away days before it expires.
67. I am embarrassed about my food fetishes.
68. No one knows the extent of things I will not eat.
69. I pretend like I am not hungry when I over come with a fetish.
70. I can’t cook.
71. I don’t want to learn how to cook.
72. I love it when people cook for me.
73. My favorite snack is Doritos and salsa.
74. I love diet coke and pink cookies.
75. I secretly would like to have an eating disorder.
76. I think about doing drugs to make myself super skinny.
77. I don’t do drugs.
78. I am even more afraid that drugs will make me stupid.
79. I am the smartest person in my family.
80. I am secretly very proud of that.
81. I score very well on standardized exams.
82. I love to say fuck.
83. I have a hard time writing the word fuck.
84. I listen to my IPOD while at my desk at work.
85. I can’t sit still for very long.
86. I wear Ralph Lauren.
87. I have a very classic sense of style.
88. I don’t like Puma shoes.
89. I don’t know why.
90. I love off the wall vans.
91. I have big feet.
92. I am an atheist.
93. I was raised Mormon.
94. I volunteer in the community.
95. I am very concerned about women’s issues.
96. I think I make myself miserable.
97. I can’t seem to stop.
98. I don’t know why.
99. I never contemplate suicide but I do think of running away.
100. I just don’t know where “away” is.
     

I am lazy today

I am lazy today and I am still nursing a two-day hangover courtesy of Ellen. Though she will claim I achieved this state without any help from her, but she was definitely inspirational during my Saturday binge drunk. Regardless of how bad I felt on the airplane yesterday, and I feel really bad for the person sitting next to me on that flight. I had a wonderful weekend with Ellen. In addition I was able to accomplish some serious soul searching with Ellen’s help and I am starting to see my way out of the confusion I have been immersed in lately. As I said I am lazy and unwilling to write about my recent personal discoveries, instead here are a few things that made me chuckle today.

Handy Guide to Modern Science
· 1) If it's green or it wriggles, it's biology
· 2) If it stinks, its chemistry
· 3) If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Felson's Law
To steal idea from one person is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

This is actually true, and one of the things I hated about writing research articles.

Vile's Law for Educators
No one is listening until you make a mistake.

For Imelda.

I am not flawed

I have been involved with heartbreak (directly and indirectly) and I have learned something about myself during the experience. I don’t feel like I am fundamentally flawed when my heart is broken. I feel like I make very poor decisions regarding whom I choose to love but I don’t feel rejected or flawed on the other side of heartbreak. Oh I do feel like an idiot, I look at the whole process and say to myself “I should have known better, in fact I did know better.” The knowing better never seems to stop me or help me.

From various readings, I have found that heartbreak can make some people feel rejected and flawed. The saying; “What is wrong with me?” and “Why don’t they love me?” Occurred over and over in my readings. I am curious why this mentality seems to dominate failed relationships? Perhaps it stems from the idea that a person feels they are not worthy or deserving of love. However I know I am worthy and deserving of love. Some of the greatest people on the planet love me, and if they love me I know I am worthy of love. It is not just the validation of the love that I receive that makes me know I am worthy and deserving of love. Fundamentally all of us are worthy and deserving of love, but at times we pick people who are not right for us.

Picking the wrong person for us does not make us any less worthy or deserving of love, it just makes us bad decision makers when it comes to love. I have yet to figure out how to become a good decision maker in the love arena. When I approach it from the logical standpoint I end up with someone I respect but doesn’t make my tummy do flip-flops. When I follow my tummy I always end up making the wrong choice in partners. In my experience you can’t have both, but I hope I am wrong.

Bad Day

Well it was bound to happen, I had my first bad day at work. I have been here for 5 weeks without a bad day and I counted myself lucky. I had a terrible encounter with an engineer yesterday. While trying to understand his experiment, I suffered through a barrage of personal attacks. In retrospect I realized that I put up with the attacks for so long because in my previous job such attacks were normal. However that is one of the reasons I left academics, I no longer desired to be subjected to such behavior.

Previously when I encountered such behavior I felt alienated, alone and weak for not being able to defend myself or because I took such things personally. Yesterday after the attack, I informed my boss about the incident and told him I would no longer work on that project with that engineer. My boss was totally supportive of me. He apologized for the situation and totally agreed with me in all respects. He also was going to try to reprimand the engineer, but considering it was just the two of us in the meeting I am not sure how that is going to play out. I felt validated and supported, I know I made the right decision leaving academia. So my first bad day turned out okay.

The other good thing in my life is golf. I am serious. Yesterday I played in a shotgun start tournament. I improved my game by 8 strokes, for a total of 63 strokes in 9 holes. I know it is terrible but better than the last time I played. I hit one 225-yard drive, and it was straight too. Granted all my other drives were about 10 yards, but hey one out of nine is a start. The ladies association gave me all sorts of stuff too, just for participating. At the end of the tournament they served us dinner and there was women drinking beer! I made friends with the beer drinkers and will be golfing with them next week.

The Dream

Is it that the dream of you is better than the reality?
If I throw it all in for you, will you disappoint me in the end?
Will I be in the same place at a different time if I chose you?
Or perhaps I will be in an even worse place?
When do I decide to take a risk on the dream?
What reassurances am I waiting for?
Do they even exist?
Why is it that I want what I can’t define, or find?

The worst concert

The concert was a complete bust. When I bought the tickets the person selling the tickets said the concert would start at 9 pm. However the tickets said 8pm so the Lawyer and I arrived at 8pm. Of course we were the first ones there, but that was okay. We hadn’t seen each other 4 months and spent the next couple of hours catching up.

Around 11pm the opening act had arrived, by this time we were seated in the VIP section and saw them arrive. They spent the next 30 minutes hanging out in the club. I had no idea who they were and I am sure the rest of the attendees did not know either. They were a rap group and performed for about 30 minutes and it was fun. I didn’t understand most of what they were saying but they had a lot of energy and stage presence, which was entertaining.

Just after midnight T-pain (the head liner) came on stage. I had bought his album and was expecting music from his last album but boy was I wrong. The group rapped two songs, and then danced to three songs and left the stage. He didn’t even sing his two songs that made him famous, oh he had the DJ play the songs and he and his two group members danced to them. It was a rip off!! Totally! He wasn’t even on stage more than 10 minutes and he was very late. Then from the VIP section his band members cased the scene and started inviting certain women upstairs to join them. I was totally put off by this and left the VIP section. It was the worst concert ever!

T-pain should be ashamed of his performance. Granted the concert was not well attended, but the people there were there because they really liked his music. We all have days at work that we really don’t want to be there, however we still make some kind of effort to work. T-pain made no effort to perform. I went to hear an artist sing, not dance. When I want to see dancing I go to a dance performance, and watch a better show than I had this weekend.

Concert

The Lawyer is in town, yeah for me!! Tonight we are going to a concert. The purchasing of the tickets was a little sketchy. Initially they were advertised for $10 a piece, which ended up being a misprint but the actual price was listed at $15 a piece. I went to purchase the tickets, and was informed the $15 price was for “members only”. The price for non-members (us) was $25.50 a piece, but for an additional $12 dollars I could purchase VIP tickets, which I did.

This concert is a Hip-Hop concert (in Zion no less), but the Lawyer is a huge fan of country music. She has never even heard of this artist. Given that this is the Lawyer’s first experience with hip-hop I “sprung” for the VIP tickets. The tickets are supposed to come with back stage access, but I am not really sure I believe that. Oh I am sure we will have access to areas that the general audience does not have access too, but I don’t think the artists will be in those areas. But, hey you never know, some people come to Zion just to observe the freak show.

I have not been to a concert in years, and I am getting very excited about it as the time approaches.

Brittany

My younger sister Brittany and I were best friends for a vast majority of our lives. I am 5 years older than her and that is the perfect age difference. I was old enough to appreciate my role as mentor and older sibling. We were far enough apart in age that we were never interested in the same things at the same time, so the jealousy issues were nonexistent. I was always very proud of how beautiful and intelligent Brittany is (and she is gorgeous).

When she was 13 and I was 18, I started a sister’s night out with her. Once a week for an evening my time would be entirely hers. We would go to the movies, shopping, swimming, hiking or just for a drive. We became very close. By the time she was 16 we went everywhere together. We were very comfortable and affectionate with one another. Around this time I also met a boy. The boy was (secretly) jealous of Brittany, because she was number one in my life and I made no apologies for it. I never put the boy first, always Brittany. During this time Brittany grew up and eventually she met a boy.

However, some how I had missed that the Brittany of my memory was not the Brittany of today. I was dramatically made aware of this fact when the Nevada state police called me in the middle of the night requesting I come and pick Brittany up after her failed suicide attempt. I was shocked, not only did I not know what she was going through I did not know she needed so much help. I picked her up and dropped her off at the local hospital for an evaluation. I put my life on hold and did everything I could to help her.

Later I was to discover, she thought I had abandoned her when the boy came along and was very angry about it. Over a year ago she informed me that I had raised her incorrectly and now she can’t cope with real life because of my terrible parenting skills. I tried to tell her that I was not her mother but her older sister. She said “Yeah but you were all I had and you fcuked up.” She did not talk to me for a year after that conversation. We are talking again, but only superficially. I don’t who she is anymore, and I wish I could have my best friend back.

I don't cheat

Tonight it the Ladies Association Golf night and I am going to attempt to golf alone. I don’t know if this allowed. I heard through the grapevine that I wouldn’t be allowed to golf alone because I might cheat. Cheating never crossed my mind; in fact I wouldn’t cheat at golf. I have never cheated at any sport in my life. In fact 10 years of schooling and I never cheated once. I am just not a cheater.

AND I forgot to mention there is no need for me to cheat, last week I won first place. That is right I won first place in the golf tournament. I won $12.22, and I get to spend it on anything in the pro-shop. I did not keep track of my own score, the association secretary did. I was completely shocked that I won first place but I double-checked and sure enough, first place. Oh and I shot a 71, on nine holes!! That is right a 71 in nine holes, in golf terms that is double par or quadruple boogie golf and I still won first place. There is no need to cheat.

Underneath my shoe

OH MY GOD!!! I have a new worst nightmare except this is real life. I was out in the field checking out new control panel they want to install, pretty routine stuff. Another routine thing is the lack of a company car. Today was one of those days they needed my car for something else so I had OOM (ornery old man) give me a ride. In the car ride over he gave me 411 on snakes over in this area. The entire time I thought he was pulling my leg, boy was I wrong.

The engineer that I was supposed to meet was late so the OOM and myself start looking around. He opened a door and showed me “This is this and this is that”. I opened the next door and OOM starts screaming, now what happened next happened so fast that I am not even clear on the events (and I was there). As the OOM is screaming for a split second I think he is teasing me about snakes, but almost at the same instant I register that I am stepping on something too. I might of heard him scream snake but I really am not sure, but what I am sure of is when I looked down I was stepping on not one but two snakes. I screamed so loud, jumped in the air and took off running (all the while screaming at the top of my lungs). I was running for home. Fcuk this sheezt!! I was out to there. Two fricken snakes underneath my shoe. I can still feel them under my shoe, even now back at my desk.

The OOM caught me; he claims that I was running straight for the cliff and about to go over the edge. I wasn’t heading for the cliff; I was running for the car and I was getting the heck out of there!!

We called the local fire department and they came up and removed the snakes from the building. However the moved them down the hill a bit. I wanted them removed miles away, say like New York away not just down the hill. I came back to the office and promptly informed my boss that I am not working in that area ever again. The snakes were blow snakes and not poisonous, not that matters to me. I can still feel them underneath my shoe….

No drugs for me

It seems the entire planet is on some kind of mood altering drug. Well at least everyone in my immediate frame of reference is on some kind of mood altering drug. A part of me has always thought that taking this kind of medication was a bad thing. I am not talking about people who genuinely need these drugs, my frame of reference here is my family. However lately I have considered taking mood-altering drugs myself. Now on the eve of my appointment with the doctor to get these drugs I am faced with my own internal reasons on why these drugs are bad and not for me (or any of my family members).

The reason I wanted the drugs is because I no longer wanted to deal with the stress in my life. I no longer wanted to feel sad or trapped. I no longer wanted to feel at all. I had heard these drugs make you numb and that sounded fabulous to me. That is what I wanted, to feel numb. However if I feel numb I won’t do anything to change the things that are not going well in my life. And sometimes changing things is hard, and some things in my life hurt, but they are supposed to hurt. I realized today that no matter how much my life might suck at the time I need to feel the pain or I will never make the changes necessary to avoid future pain. I still wish for a miracle pill, but I am going to stay away from mood altering drugs.

I had another thought, what if I lack the courage to change things? Then wouldn’t being numb all the time be a good thing? Oh I already know the counter argument, if I am numb I can’t experience the good emotions too. In general I am a very happy and positive person and I don’t want to numb those emotions too.

I found someone!!!

When it rains it pours! I know I was complaining about having nothing to do and not knowing anyone, well it appears that has all changed. The change was brought about by my wonderful softball skills.

Wednesday night I played softball for our company team, recall I have not played softball seriously since junior high. I was shocked and amazed to find that I was in the starting line up for the game. I asked the captains if they were sure, there had to be some mistake. I insisted that my skills were rusty at best and I did not want to let the team down. They assured me I would be fine and I was, because we are the worst softball team ever! We don’t have a pitcher or an outfield and I am one of the best hitters we have. That is right, I am one of the best hitters. I was able to get on base each time I was up to bat, which was better than anyone else on our team. I immediately made fast friends on the team. I also did not make any serious errors when I was in the outfield.

The other great thing was the beer. Granted I was not drinking it, but it was nice to know that it was available. Most of my teammates were BYOBing it and they even sold it at the concession stand (bonus). I was invited to a BBQ on Saturday, a house warming party on Friday night, a golf tournament Friday day and a Spelling Bee party last night. I accepted the Saturday invite and declined the other invites. It looks like I might have found my social circle. I will let you know how Saturday turns out.

At the very least I had a great time playing softball even though we are terrible.

Closet Drunk

I was suppose to post this last night but I have been so busy, sorry guys.

Check it out!!! It is illegal to get drunk in this crazy state! The law states clearly;

"A person is guilty of intoxication if he is under the influence of intoxicating liquor, a controlled substance, or any substance having the property of releasing toxic vapors, to a degree that the person may endanger himself or another, in a public place or in a private place where he unreasonably disturbs another person."

So does this mean I have to become a closet drunk? Check that off my list of things I have always wanted to do! Yuppie!! I can’t even get drunk in my own home; well I can if I am all by myself. All by myself, I don’t want to be all by myself, wait a minute yes I do, because if I am not I am going to a ticket for drinking and disturbing another person.

There goes my idea of riding my bike to the local country club getting drunk and trying to ride my bike back home. Oh and I guess there will be no drinking at my softball game tonight either. That is probably a good thing too; I don’t like to mix alcohol and exercise. Not that softball is exercise, but I am not sure of my skill level and I don’t want to chance it.